Daily Happy Thoughts

I am subscribed to Coops Jokes through my Yahoo mail account. I find their jokes to be unique and interesting. I have decided to repost them over here. Hope you guys find it as funny as we do. Enjoy!

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The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists; two men and a woman.

For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. “We must know that you fill follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances.” Inside the room you will find your wife sitting on a chair…Kill her!!! The man said, “You can’t be serious. I could never shoot my wife. ” The agent said, “Then you are not the right man for the job. Take your wife and go home.”

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, “I tried, but I can’t kill my wife.” The agent said, “You don’t have what it takes. Take your wife home.”

Finally, it was the woman’s turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow. “This gun is loaded with blanks” she said. “I had to beat him to death with the chair.”

MORAL: Women are crazy. Don’t mess with them!!

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A blonde and her husband were lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor’s  dog. It had been in the backyard and barking for hours and hours. The blond jumps up out of bed and says, “I’ve had enough of this.” She goes downstairs.

The blond finally comes back up to bed  and her husband says “The dog is still barking, what have you been doing?” The blond says “I’ve put the dog in our backyard, let’s see how they like it.”

Popularity: 16% [?]

Figured I still have time to make this quick post. Just finished preparing for work and awaiting pickup..lol..I didn’t think I’d enjoy this blogging thing, looks like I am fast becoming a blogging addict..hehehe..thanks to my mentors, the blogging gurus (you know who you are). Anyway, I found out about this typing speed test here and I decided to give it a shot. My mother used to be a typing instructor when she was still teaching, and she tried to give me free summer typing classes back in high school. I guess it paid off and I think I pretty much got a rating that wasn’t too bad. Here is my rating below, and I hope I can make use of this talent of mine to make money..LOL

62 words

Speedtest

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Got this bunch of Qs from Yenny, and here’s my version of answers..1. What’s your favorite candy?.: It’d have to be the chilly menthol ones..snow bear perhaps..lol..flavor of the road…2. If you could live anywhere, where would it be? Why?

.: A place where you can see where your taxes go to..like healthcare, and public education, among others, which is, sadly, not the Philippines..but I do hope there will come a time for that too..

3. What was the last movie that made you cry?

.: I can’t remember, haven’t been mushy in a long time..hehe

4. I wish someone would invent………?

.: A car that wouldn’t have a dent if bumped into..that way I can rough it out with abusive jeepney drivers.

5. Have you ever experienced being scared to death? Please share..

.: At the roller coaster ride at EK..’twas as though I had to shout and my life depended on it..

6. What time is it now?

.: It is 0225H in my PC..just came from an officemate’s bday party and was hoping to get this done before getting some shut eye..

7. What’s your favorite flavor of cake?

.: Ummm..Queen Elizabeth..does that qualify as a flavor? LOL

8. Your favorite pair of shoes?

.: My Red Wings boots for work.

9. Have you ever bought a lottery ticket?

.: Yup, on a number of occasions, combination of birthdays of everyone I hold dear.

10. Have you ever hung up on somebody?

.: Guilty on this one..

Popularity: 17% [?]